i know what you are talking about the mood swings are the worst.   never knowing what comes next.

 my stomach is starting to turn.

maybe it is my job.

maybe it is the thought of having to go back to work tomorrow.  i might take one xanax before i go to sleep.

just another day.  it wasnt too good this morning.  i woke up at 3am and my head was throbbing.  felt like someone was sitting on my head.  i felt disconnected from my body.  i hope this cold/flu thing i have will go away soon.  i managed to choke down some tylenol and then sat up in the chair for the rest of the night.
     i went back to bed and layed back down to my girlfriend and tried to sleep some more.  on and off for the rest of the night.  i think i woke up again around 8am or so.  i felt like all the energy had been sucked out of me.  i felt nausea and my body was all tensed up.  i walked around the house for a little bit and tried to take my daily medicine.  see the truth is that i cant take medicine without food.  i never managed to swallow pills with just water.  i put one animal cracker in my mouth and i thought i was going to vomit.  it took all my power not to spit it out.  so i tried to concentrate on the TV.  but before i realized it, i had chewed up the animal cracker and had nothing left for my pills.  damn it!  i went and got 3 more crackers and finally after gagging and taking one pill at a time i took my 2 pills.  i still wasnt feeling good.  my arms were tensing up and i felt the tingling sensation start up and down my arms.  i got scared.  i took 2 xanax.  that was honestly the longest time it ever took for them to kick in.  i still felt like shit for a few hours.  i was sick.  or at least i felt like i was going to be.  but i just layed on the couch for the rest of the afternoon.

i am tired so i will go lay down for a while...,maybe i will write  later.

Current Mood: anxious